How to Ask Someone Out by Hayden Allen

Picture this… you have the crazy hots for someone and feel an instant attraction… what do you do next?

What will they say when you ask them out?  What happens if they say no? 

All these questions buzz round your head.  Relax…… and take your time and remember ‘He who dares wins!’

So what if they say NO…. at least you are bold enough to ask… so many of us let these opportunities pass us by.

I can’t pretend to give you a magic formula like so many of these books and other websites do (after you have parted with £10!!!), but I can give you the benefit of experience on what does and does not work.

Point 1
Check out my tips for reading body language.  This will help you understand if someone is giving you signals and will help you identify a suitable mate.

Point 2
Starting a conversation…. This can sometimes be a struggle because you are often feeling very self conscious.  Men and women are very different in this scenario and this is to do with something cavemen passed onto us.  Men always welcome women (most of the time), and women tend to be more choosy who they speak to.  What you must remember is to be confident in yourself.  Take a big breath and just go be yourself.  A witty (not rude) comment or a compliment always goes down a storm.  If you combine the two, then you have a great chance.

Point 3
Your potential partner will form an immediate impression about you so its so important to present yourself in a suitable manner, shoulders back, combed hair, dressed to impress…. You know what I mean. 

Point 4
Know when to give up!  If you are hitting a brick wall and just getting nowhere, just be polite and be confident when you say, “nice to chat, have a good evening”.  Never be rude, even if they are rude to you… you never know the situation may turn around for you, and they like the show of confidence.

Point 5
Don’t lie… it is far too easy to be caught out.  Ladies I have spoken to tell me they have been approached by thousands of ‘pilots’ whose stories just fall apart after a bit of digging.

Point 6
Play it cool…. If you are getting on well, test their interest by saying ‘nice to chat, catch you later’ you will be surprised how quickly they come to find you after an hour or two.

Point 7
Practice makes perfect.  If you get knocked back the first few times, just try to think of it as water off a ducks back and get your ass back out there.  As soon as you start thinking too hard and taking it too seriously, it becomes a chore!

Q’s and A’s

Hello, I have a girl in mind but I am hesitant to ask her out.

I have never talked to her, I purely want to date her because she is attractive and becuase she seems polite when she talks to her friends. Now this is the first time I am going to ask someone out (I am 16), so I am very nervous. I was thinking something of along the lines of this: Going up to her after our third period class together and stopping her in the hall, saying this: Hey, sorry, this might seem weird, but I’m going to be frank, I think you’re really cute, and that you seem to have a great personallity, so I thought I’d give this a try: If you don’t have a boyfriend or anything, I thought maybe we can hang out sometime and get to know eachother?” If she says something along the lines of “yes” I would ask for her phone number. 

Cupid Says:

Dear fightclubsoap

Your story is one that is emailed to me regularly..

Everyone’s circumstances are different of course but I think I know where you are coming from.  It is a brave move to go straight up to someone and ask them out so you are obviously a confident man.  I would suggest a slightly different approach, one that worked for me really well;

Go up to her, preferably when she is alone or with only one friend and look directly into her eyes, your body language should be confident so keep your shoulders back and body straight (check out my body language section) - this is really important as you are taking the lead in the situation.  Take a big deep breath before you do it so as you are really chilled out when you do it.  You should act interested, BUT relaxed about the asking.

OK, so now you are facing her and you have her attention, be direct (as you were planning) and very casually ask whether she would like to come to a party / concert / picnic with you.  Don’t be so blatant as to ask whether she has a boyfriend or not - remember - ‘YOU ARE WHAT THIS GIRL NEEDS’.  What you can’t do is be too upfront with her as it is too easy for her to say ‘NO’.

The venue choice is very important and something that could seal the deal for you (check out my Dating Venue’s Section).  Is there anything going on in your town soon that would be viewed as ultra cool?  The venue choice will be an extension of your coolness.  I’d recommend a picnic in a park or something, and take a Frisbee so you can interact a little.  Also take your iPod or MP3 player so you can talk about music and what you both like.  When it comes to preparing the food, do this yourself - ladies just love the fact that you have made the effort for them.

Go for it dude, and let me know how you get on!

 

 

Now go make that move!